So it doesn't look like we can get out of the Hawaii assignment. And part of me wonders if he really wants to. Not because he doesn't want to be with us, but because of the opportunities at the other side of this thing. Let me explain:
- If he goes to Hawaii, they ARE going to Iraq. And the reason little boys dream of joining the military is to serve their country. How many veterans do you know that say, "Yeah, I was in the military during the war, but I stayed in the states the whole time". I mean, the reason to serve and to train is to use that knowledge. This would give him the opportunity to do just that. To be in that combat situation he has dreamed of since he was a child. To give more meaning to his time in service.
- If he goes to Hawaii, it's a good career move. You can't stay at one place too long, or you stagnate. Your chances for promotion are not as good, and you don't get the leadership opportunities you have elsewhere.
The down side to all this is more time apart.
There are options for us, with a Hawaii move:
1. The kids and I can stay here. Mike would be in Hawaii two years. A year of that would be spent in Iraq. We know that. We would be apart, but the kids would have stability. (Matthew REALLY doesn't want to move.)
2. We could all move to Hawaii. Mike would be assigned there for three years. One of which would be spent in Iraq. If we go, the kids and I would be on the Island without any family for a long time. And I don't even want to think about what a plane ticket to Hawaii cost, let alone 4 tickets. In other words, our ability to see family would be practically non-existent. Not to mention having to sell the house and figure out what to do with all our stuff because we can't take it all with us.
Oh, in option 1, we don't know when he would go to Iraq. It would most likely be 6 months or so after he gets there. So it would be Hawaii - Iraq - Hawaii - Home.
I am afraid that IF we go with him, we would never see him anyway. And we don't want to uproot the kids to be with Daddy when we wouldn't BE with Daddy anyway.
All of this makes me want to scream and cry. I want to throw a huge tantrum at the injustice of it all! But it won't change things. And really, as a soldier, isn't it his mission to serve our country as needed? And as his wife, I support him 100%. So I need to just step back, look at the bigger picture, and just deal with what is at hand. The decisions will come with time. And I know we will be fine with whatever happens. I just don't deal well with so many unknowns.