Sunday, May 28, 2006

Fender Bender

Um, I got into an accident today. But it totally was NOT my fault. Um, unless the insurance company decides I was, because the officer said it's up to them. Nice.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Tagged by Jeanne

Name 5 things in your refrigerator
1. watermelon
2. milk
3. garlic cheese
4. apple berry salsa
5. pickles

Name 5 things in your closet
1. shoes I don't wear
2. a box of um... bedroom toys
3. journals
4. clothes
5. a box of memories

Name 5 things in your purse
1. gum
2. tampons
3. pictures of other peoples kids
4. receipts
5. cell phone

I'm not tagging anyone, because everyone I know has been tagged. But, if you read this and haven't been tagged, consider this your cue!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Dejected Elation

The kids and I got to the airport around 6:20 last night. His flight was to land around 7.
We were all so giddy with excitement!
Finally, people started to spill through the arrival gate! We watched a plane from Chicago unload, then two other planes. Then we watched as an attendant shut the sliding glass door and lock it. I felt so dejected! The kids were utterly confused. We walked over to the baggage claim, just to make sure he didn’t walk right by us. Nope, no Mike.
My cell phone rang at that moment. It was Mike. He says “I guess you have realized by now that I wasn’t on that flight”. Uh, right. Evidently, they were working on his plane, while they were waiting, on the plane. He said he was waiting for them to either finish working on the plane or for the crew to arrive for the next flight, which ever came first. He said he would call me back once he knew what time he would be arriving. The last thing I wanted to do was to sit in the airport for at least 2 hours with three upset kids. So, I did what any sane person would do. I loaded the kids back in the van and headed for Target! We went in and bought a new DVD player for the van (the old one needed replaced). And of course we needed a few new movies to watch. We got back in the van around 9. Since I hadn’t heard from Mike yet, I figured it was still at LEAST 2 hours until he would arrive. I called a friend to have her look up the flight times for me. Two planes were headed in from Dallas, landing at 9:15 and 9:23. These were the two planes Mike spoke about, so I knew he was on one of them. We go back to the airport and go in just in time watch him walk off the plane… sweet! The kids were thrilled and I was so relieved. We got home around 11 last night. It’s so good to have him home.

Monday, May 22, 2006

T - 27 Hours

OMG... he will be home tomorrow!! I will be pulling out of the driveway at this time tomorrow night to pick him up from the airport!!! YAY!!!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Getting Giddy

With excitement.

Mike will board a plane in about 24 hours to COME HOME!! I can hardly stand the excitement I am feeling!!

In other news:

Lauren did great at her dance recital yesterday!! She didn't cover her face this time!! GO GIRL!

I had someone come out today to give us a quote for an addition on the house! We want to add a master suite. We will meet with him on Friday to find out the numbers. I hope and pray this is something feesible for us!!

My kids are bored. It's been summer vacation for five days and they are bored! Nice.

Friday, May 19, 2006

It's a Bit Foggy in Here...

In my head that is.

At least that is how I have felt lately. It seems that as my life gets most simple, the foggier my brain gets. It's like I don't know how to think if I'm not going 90 miles a minute.

Mike will be home in about four days. I can not wait to see him. To hold him. To smell him. The simple things.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

She Did What

Lauren graduated from preschool today. OMG, does that officially make her a kindergartener?!

My Mom sent her a little sewing machine as a gift. Since Lauren sees me quilting, she always wants to sew too. Right now she is playing around with the machine. I figure if I let her figure it out on her own she would have some fun. Then I will give her a project to sew… doesn’t she look so determined?!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

What's it to You?!

Today is Mother’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate the person who brought us into this world. The woman who, for most of us, saw us through our infancy, our toddler-hood and those awkward school years. She put up with us through out teens and stood by us in our twenties as we tried to figure out who just who we are and what the heck we are doing. I know I owe a lot of who I am to my Mother. She gave to us selflessly and always sacrificed her needs for our wants. I am grateful to my Mother-in Law. She is the reason I have a husband who shows such compassion and respect.

As I sit here, I try to imagine what Mother’s Day will be like for me in 15 years. My kids will be 24, 22, and 20 then. I wonder if their kids will horde school made gifts in their backpacks until Sunday morning, so Mommy will be surprised as Lauren did for me this morning. I wonder if they will even have kids yet.

I woke this morning to the sound of my babies playing. I knew that there would be no gifts of jewelry or no meal out to celebrate unless it was something I did for myself. With Mike in Korea, it would be difficult for him to orchestrate such a thing. But those things don’t really appeal to me anyway. I love the little gifts the kids make themselves. They hold so much more meaning to me.

Last year for Mother’s Day, Mike got a new grill. Yes, you read that right, he got a grill. I didn’t get a tangible gift. But, I did have my children, and that is something not every woman can say. I know there are many women out there struggling just to be able to be Mothers. I know that the honor of being called Mom is not something to be taken lightly. And as a Mother, I know the job isn’t always easy. And the rewards are sometimes slow to come.

Today I was grateful for what I do have. I have three beautiful, healthy children. We are very fortunate for all the things we have. It is sometimes easy to lose sight of the simple things. When my children come up to me, and wrap their arms around me and tell me that they love me… that is the best gift ever. What more could a Mother want?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

That's More Like It...

So, they kids woke me with breakfast. Then let me sleep as late as I wanted.
The rest of the day they played really well together.
I often wonder if my stress doesn't make me blow things out of proportion. I know the kids were off yesterday. Amy even commented on it when she was here. But I know that my frame of mind didn't help things any. Today should be a great day. I am DONE with another semester of classes!!
I am so looking forward to Mike being home. I am dreading what is to come once he returns to Korea, but I can't let that get in the way of enjoying the time we get together.
Things look so much better today.

A Ray of Light

So, I went to bed at midnight last night. Lauren was wiggling around in her bed, so I told her to come sleep with me. I needed a snuggle buddy. So she climbed into my bed and I went into the bathroom. And I heard it.
"Lauren, did you just throw up in my bed?"
"Uh huh, and... "
"More huh?"
So, I put her in the tub, stripped by bed, found clean sheets. Got her cleaned up, the bed remade and us back into it. She was so sweet. She said "Mom, I told you I didn't feel good". And she did before she went to bed last night.
What a way to end a shitty day.

The kids woke me up at 8 this morning. With breakfast!! It was so sweet. They made Fruity Pebbles, toast, pop tarts and a cheese stick. I also had a cup of milk in a My Little Pony cup. Best breakfast ever. And they let me go back to sleep. Until 11 this morning, when I got up on my own.

I so hope this is the start of a wonderful day.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Limbo Lower Now

I feel so low today. Maybe it is because of all the change going on in my life. I really can’t pinpoint it right now. The kids are almost done with school. They have Sports Day on Monday. Lauren has preschool graduation on Tuesday. The other kids get out at 1230 and that is all. They will have a two week break and then summer school for 4 weeks.
I have to turn in two finals tomorrow and my semester is over. I will be on break for three weeks.
Mike comes home in about 10 days. I can’t wait to see him. The feeling is so bittersweet though. Because it means we are that much closer to him going ‘over there’. And that scares me. I am sure what I am feeling is normal. I can’t imagine not feeling some trepidation about the upcoming ‘tour’. But I don’t want my fear to cloud the enjoyment of him being home.
The kids are off. I don’t know what it is, but they have just been crazy this week. Maybe it is the end of school year. Or the fact that they know Daddy is coming home. Or they can feel what I am feeling and don’t know how to respond to it. Whatever it is, I hope we can move past it. One more day like today and I may just go insane!
My friend is on her way to pick up her husband. He is coming home for a one month visit from ‘over there’. His coming home just signals the impending arrival of Mike.
I just wish my thoughts of ‘what if’ would subside. But I guess it is just part of the job description of a military wife.
Today I was thinking about what I would do if ‘something’ happened to Mike. We love where we live now. We want to raise the kids here. The kids love the school and their friends and they really don’t want to move. But I don’t think I would stay here without Mike. But I know that I don’t want to live ‘back home’. I wonder what Mike would want me to do in that situation. The more I think about this, the more confusing it gets. I mean, I turned it all around in my head, What if it was reversed. I don’t think I could just say THIS is what I want. Because I would want him to do whatever would make him happiest, and I would trust his judgment on what he would think would be best for our children. I don’t know where I am going with this.
I guess I am just feeling a little lost. I am feeling the weight of all this responsibility on my shoulders. And I just want someone else to bear the load for a while.
I was listening to the radio today. And this woman was talking about motherhood. And she said that in order to raise children ‘right’, we need to have a plan. It’s funny I caught this program, because so much of what she said were things that had been bouncing around in my head. Anyway, I realize that in my parenting, I have just been winging it to get to the next stage. I don’t really have any idea on what I want the ‘end product’ to be. I mean, sure I have things in my mind that I would like my kids to accomplish. But I haven’t really sat down and thought it out. And I think that I need to sit down and think about what I want for my children. I think it would help me to be a better Mom to have some goal to work towards for and with each child. Because right now it feels like I’m just flailing.


I just type a LONG post.. and lost it... I am going to go scream now....

Monday, May 01, 2006

The Man

I spoke to Mike this weekend. A few times. It felt so good.
Sometimes we will have Skype on and both be doing our 'thing' but the fact that we are 'together' makes it ok that we aren't engaged in conversation every moment we are online. I think it speaks volumes that we can be content just in each others presence without words.

Mike was interviewed a few weeks back. I still don't get what she is doing the interviews/research for other than she is going to write a book; but I could be wrong. I was on Skype with Mike as he was on the phone with Dawn during the interview. The portion I heard was of course one sided, as I couldn't hear her. I listened for over an hour as he gave answers to her questions. I could get the basic jest of her questioning just by his answer. At the time my heart swelled with pride for the man I married. There are so many things that are just known or understood between two people sometimes. I knew Mike felt the way about a lot of the things he said just because I know Mike. But to hear the words come from him, from his own viewpoint. It was amazing.

He sent me a copy of the interview as Dawn forwarded it to him. As I read through, I see so much more that what is there in those paragraphs. She highlights quotes from Mike, filling in explainations in her own words. As I read it, I can hear the words Mike used. I feel the interview she forwarded explains some things, and maybe they are just what she was looking for. But I also see a man who is willing to sacrifice so much for everyone else. A man who is the ideal of selflessness. A man I am proud to call my husband.