Monday, February 20, 2006

And And And

The kids are dong alright. Matthew is really whiny. I don't know what to do for him. He gets so angry when things don't go his way. I need to work with him to find a way for him to cope. Jacob is doing good. He has been so lovey lately. Lauren is doing good too. She says she misses Daddy at least four times a day... Overall, they seem to be handling things well.
I'm doing ok. I'm still pissed about the way this entire thing had been played. And I'm really upset about having to be apart for so long. I try not to think too much about it, but it's hard and it sucks. My heart just aches when I think of all the time we won't be together. And all the things Mike will miss with the kids. And all the times the kids will wish Daddy was home. At night, once the kids are in bed, is the loneliest time for me. I have nothing to distract me as I lie in our bed alone. It's here, now, that I just wish it was all over and done with. I know the time will pass and we will be together again. And part of me wishes I could just fast forward it. But then that would be fast forwarding the kids as well and I'm just not ready for that!
For now, I'll go to sleep. And tomorrow I will get up and go on just like I do everyday. And I'll get excited when I get to see him on the web cam. And my heart will skip a beat when he emails me. I'll smile for everyone and get through my day. Then I'll climb in bed tomorrow night and wish we could be together...


2J3K&P said...

I so wish I could take away some of your loneliness. You are sosososo strong, don't know that I could do it. If you ever need to talk, I am a good listener ;) HUGS! Hope it will fly by for you. Jenni

sillypants said...

OK, how bad is this? When I book marked your site, I apparently bookmarked dec/Jan....

I have kept checking back over and over to find no updates. Then I decided to type in just your blogger name and voila! I get a month of updates. I am sorry I haven't replied/responded more. I now have your page re-book marked and will now be able to keep up !

I can see that M is gone and I can only imagine how you are feeling. I hope the kids are holding up alright. My thoughts are with you all at this time.

Off to try and catch up !