Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sadness and Heavyness

(click on image to see it larger)

I have so many emotions going through my head and heart this morning.
My Mother-in Law called me last night. Her health is at a pretty low point. She moved to Tennessee in June last year and switched all her health care providers at that time. She has had nothing but complication after complication since then.

She has been down and pretty sick since Dec. When she called last night, it was to let me know that she is going into the hospital today. She will have exploritory surgery to see what is going on in her abdomin. She has been a peritoneal dialysis patient for 17 years. They are also going to do a blood transfusion. This will be the second since she lives in Tennessee. Also, only the second, EVER! She is pretty upset about it.

I am scared. I am scared of losing her. I love my mother-in law more that most people do. She is a very special woman and I cherish and honor her. I am also scared for my husband. He grew up as an only child with a single mother. Besides the kids and me, she is his world. To think he is feeling all the emotions I felt when my own Mom was so sick last year.. and to know he is doing that alone in Afghanistan, breaks my heart.

The other piece of what's rolling around my brain.. and heart... is that I am losing two close friends to military moves. One is my friend Wendy. She has been back and forth with jobs for a bit now, but it's getting to the point of her leaving for good. I know we can still have a long distance friendship, but it's not the same.
This morning, my neighbor, whom I've known for about a year, let me know that she and the kids are moving back home as she got a job offer there. Her husband will still be here for at least another year, so we should get to see them about once a month. I really enjoy her company and the kids play really well together. It just hurts to have to say good-bye again. It seems like I am experiencing alot of 'ends' lately.

1 comment:

AH said...

The "ends" just mean that there are new beginnings around the corner. It's like finishing a book in a series that is life long, you hate waiting for the next one but love it when it's finally released. Keep your head up and know that there are still people in your life that love you.
Here's a song you should listen too...

"I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too" -My Wish by Rascal Flatts