Today just sucked. I missed Mike’s call. And this is the day when I really need to hear his voice. I am so sad right now. I can’t even think straight. I know we will make it through this year, but God it hurts so much to be so far away. I am terrified of what could happen. I am really trying to stay strong. To hold it in and keep going. But sometimes the weight of it all is just so much to bear. I am so frustrated and sensitive right now. I can’t deal with anything. The kids haven’t done anything specific, but MAN they are driving me insane. I just want to be alone in a quiet place with nothing to think or worry about. I want to escape my feeling and thoughts for a while.
I sent Mike a few emails over the last few days. All I got back was a seven word reply. From one of the emails. This shit is going to kill me, I swear.
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