Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Let's Get Physical...

What I need right now is a huge comforting hug. Things are so crazy right now.
I am thrilled about Mike coming home, but dreading his leaving again. Because I KNOW where he goes next. And I am terrified about it. I keep having these morbid thoughts, and I just don't know how to make them go away.
My MIL is sick. I'm terrified of what is to come.
I've been thinking alot about the situation at 'home'. My Mom, Sister and Neice. It just pains me to see my sister in so much pain, her daughter needing her and my Mom so stressed about it all.
Throw in the everyday madness around here and I just want to sit and sob for a few hours.

My Dad called me tonight. From China. I emailed him on his birthday back in Feb. This is the first I've heard from him since before then. It's frustrating. I would love to have a relationship with my father. I would love for him to be a part of my chidren's lives. He just isn't 'there' for us consistiantly and it hurts. When he called tonight and asked how things are going I broke down. I hate that I did too. I don't want him to see me so raw.

Mike is in the field. I want to talk to him. I need to hear him.

Only 15 school days left until summer. FIFTEEN.

No comments: