Uncertainty

I hurt
I can’t find joy
It seems to have left me

I find pain wherever I turn

I am hurting about my Mom
It’s like I am watching her die
And it is killing me

I am missing my husband
I can’t stand being apart from him

I wake up and wonder why I even get out of bed
Just another day

I watch my children and wonder if I’m good enough
If I give them enough.. not material things, but love, support
I am afraid of screwing them up

The uncertainty is daunting
I don’t know what comes next
I feel stuck in the now and I’m not happy in the now
I want to turn this page, see what is next
I want to live, move on
It’s time